Beauty in the Eyes of the Industry

"Beauty is the enemy. We try to conquer not feeling beautiful all our lives. It's a battle that can't be won. There's no definition of beauty. The only way to achieve beauty is to feel it from the inside without breaking it down into individual physical attributes." 

- Miley Cyrus

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past years,

 it is a fact that a lot of Fashion Designers and firms consider ultra-thin people to serve as models for their merchandise. 

This had been a trending topic for sometime because a lot of these models are actually facing eating disorders, plus people who aren't as thin as them often end up with negative feelings about their bodies.

Since my blog is entitled "I PREACH Fashion," I am motivated to share my thoughts and experiences about the different issues surrounding the Fashion industry. 

And now, I will talk about Anorexia and the fear of gaining wait for the love of beauty.

Back on my early teen years, I can say that I used to be chubby.

(back when I was around 13 or 14. Haha, cute no?)

 This is because I didn't really care about how I look back then, and having fun with the things life has to offer for a kid is somewhat my passion.

But as I grew up, I started to be interested in Fashion and I saw how being beautiful is portrayed by the media. It is often in the movies and TV-series that the actors who are thin often plays the lead role. The fat one ends up as a sidekick or if ever he/she is the protagonist; his/her struggle about weight is shown in the story. 

As a teenager, these things affected me.

 Like everyone else, I also wanted to be seen as beautiful, but I felt like the fat that are in my body are impeding the people from seeing the beauty in me.

To make things worse, I also felt like I've been a victim of bullying back on my early high school years because of my many physical insecurities.

The pressure vested upon me by the media and the Fashion industry's view of beauty, served as my inspiration to lose weight and make myself look better.

 However, due to my busy schedule brought about by school; It was unlikely for me to find the time to exercise. Thus, making me try a wrong and dangerous way to lose weight: NOT EATING.

Okay, maybe i'm exaggerating a bit. Of course I ate during those days, but only a little. I limited myself to eating only one pack of crackers per day. Doing this, resulted into negative effects like me losing focus in school and getting all cranky all day, everyday. However, I still continued doing it for I used to believe that the effect of losing weight outweighs all these negative effects.

In more or less 3 months, my weight loss became obvious and visible to other people. My family, friends and acquaintances often complimented me about it; because of this; I continued my unhealthy routine.

Maintaining it became surprisingly easy at this point because I already lost my interest in eating. In fact, every time I see food, I don't get enticed by it anymore. In fact I see it as something unattractive.

Another 3 months have passed and I continued to lose weight, but this time I'm not getting compliments anymore, Instead I received a lot of negative reactions.

People told me that I look so thin, and unhealthy. They noticed how my eyes and face always look tired and how scarily visible my hipbone was.

(left pic: 14 year old me, Right: the time when people are reacting negatively to my weight loss)

Because of this, I came into a realization that maybe I have a problem. By that time, I was also able to catch an episode of Tyra Bank's talk show where she featured girls who are dieting extremely in order to lose weight. In this episode, I learned that it is dangerous to this and I shouldn't continue living with it anymore.

My recovery came out smoothly all thanks to Jesus Christ. I prayed to Him and asked for guidance on how to break free from being enslaved by an eating disorder.

Maybe extreme dieting helped me in losing weight, but I am not proud of attaining it by doing this.

In fact, if I can turn back the time; I would rock clothes with my plump body and always remind myself not to be affected by what other people say for it is the inside that counts.

So for all those plump ladies and men who have the confidence to dress up and strut their stuff, I commend you guys. :) Continue being modern day inspirations for our modern generation that needs help.

Thanks for reading this ultra long post!

- Raf :D